I hate clutter. I hate how stressful and overwhelming it feels to be around a lot of stuff—especially when dealing with a small amount of space. In fact, my ideal home would look like an Ikea catalog if I had any control over my living situation (I don’t…I have kids and pets lol). My home would be a soft, comfortable, and functional space, but definitely minimal. And simple. However, unlike our physical realm, our minds have infinite space for whatever we want to pack it with. And because ideas need inspiration and our ideas come from our beautiful brains, it’s helpful to deposit lots of details instead of keeping it clutter free. So it’s time to fill ‘er up. Pack it with all kinds of information. Observations. Trivia. Questions. Everything. But all that inspiration hoarding shouldn’t come from one place (I’m looking at you, TikTok). Don’t rely on social media for all of your “research.” Get outside and look around. Notice what you notice. What people are doing. What they’re wearing. What they’re NOT doing. How people are eating. Which places attract people and why. Which places need upkeep. And if you’re stuck on a personal or work project or feeling “blah” about something that feels stale or you're just out of dank meme material, change your routine. Then download every detail you can about your day. I’ve started using this strategy myself, and it has improved my ability to brainstorm ideas more quickly. Now when I stare at my screen, I can make the cursor move on command with a list of some starter ideas. And some of those have the potential to actually be good ones. Picasso once said that “Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.” So work at it by shaking things up and noticing the world around you. Then commit what you observe to your memory. You never know when it might come in handy when you need some fresh inspiration down the line. Current Read: How to Get Ideas, by Jack Foster My earlier manifesto was inspired by this book. Jack Foster does a great job of inspiring and teaching us how to turn on that radar in our minds to find ideas. They are all around us, if we pay attention. How to Get Ideas is a super easy read and great for anyone who wants to find inspiration, whether it is for work or personal projects. One specific exercise he suggests is to spend time really, truly observing our surroundings and then write down specific observations we have each day, which can be completely random. But the act of noticing helps us exercise that inner muscle and see more going forward. Here are some things I noted on day one during my work commute on the train: -Most people’s heads were down, looking at their phones. -A teenage boy had his basketball shoes untied and seemed unbothered by it. I also noted how the untied laces touching the train floor gave me the ick. -A man standing on the train was reading an art history book with black and white images. -I’ve been reading a new poem each day, and this one poem was about loss and how we hide our grief in the shadows of our smiles. #deep Pet Pics: Lilo being a brave little pup as she gets her annual shots. Don’t worry, she got extra cuddles. Amelie soaks up a little sunshine (and superiority) from her window perch. Garden Update: Our lemon and grapefruit trees have no chill and produced a lot of fruit this month. At first, I wasn’t thrilled about grapefruit—I didn’t eat it growing up. But now in my ripening years, I’ve developed a taste and enjoy them without any added sweetener. No judgment here if you like a little sugar on yours, lol. Sanity Corner: Jon got me into this podcast called Ologies, with Allie Ward, where she interviews experts on everything from black holes to apples to near death experiences. Every episode is fascinating and super engaging (Allie is such a funny host!). I’m always looking forward to learning from Allie and her team.
She also has “Smologies,” which are shorter, kid-friendly episodes for younger audiences. Please check it out, and challenge yourself to listen to something you know nothing about. As you listen, the episode will suck you right into that wonderful rabbit hole of curiosities. That’s all for today. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again soon. Feel free to share this little newsletter with your friends! :) Take care, Desi
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Here’s a short, sweet poem by one of my favorite poets: Just as the hare is zipping across the finish line, the tortoise has stopped once again by the roadside, this time to stick out his neck and nibble a bit of sweet grass, unlike the previous time when he was distracted by a bee humming in the heart of a wildflower. ~ Billy Collins, Horoscopes for the Dead This poem reminds me of the Frog and Toad memes I started seeing on the Interwebs about a year ago: a Gen Z reaction against hustle culture. I’ve always operated like the hare in Collins’ poem. But I’ve envied the tortoise and have realized how wise he really is. We’re all racing somewhere. Racing to the job title. Racing to the accolades. Racing—and stressing and worrying along the way—to whichever status symbol that tells the world we finally made it. But who really cares? The world is so much bigger than us and our precious little myopic egos. It’s healthy to zoom out far away from ourselves and hold on to that perspective. It’s humbling, but it’s calming, too. A friend shared this in a moment of frustration, and I laughed. So true though, right? Once we cross a finish line, we manufacture another “finish line” to race toward. And then we go on social media, see what others have done, and feel inadequate all over again. Then we dream up new benchmarks. It goes on and on. And it’s exhausting. Sure, we can set goals and strive for them. But that requires balance. We need to remember to stop by the roadside once in a while. Touch the soft grass, feel the breeze and warm sun on our skin. Like Frog and Toad: My goal is to do this more myself. And I’ve been surprised by how hard it is after being conditioned to rush and race from one task to the other for so many years. So slow down. Be present. Enjoy the journey and stop to marvel at the insects along the way. There’s no rush. Writing Update: Jon has finished inking page 40 of Three Bee Honey—hooray! Progress has been slower than we’d hoped, but we’re inching closer each day. Here’s a sneak peek at one of the pages with Claire, Hannah, and Abi learning about the waggle dance: So cute! Recent Read: The Bluest Eye, by Toni Morrison I read this book back in college. And now that I’ve had more life experience under my belt, I felt it was worth revisiting, and I’m enjoying it even more. I also wanted to re-read it since it recently stirred up so much controversy and has even been banned in school districts around the country. The Bluest Eye explores beauty standards and racial identity. It’s about a Black girl named Pecola who is growing up in the Jim Crow South. She dreams of having blue eyes because she feels that will make her beautiful, and in that yearning, we see the pain and tragedy that inspires it. Toni Morrison’s prose is both beautiful and raw. Every book I’ve read by her is filled with passages that make me slam on the breaks, reverse, and re-read because I’m so shocked she actually “went there.” While her stories aren’t for the faint of heart, and this one explores many uncomfortable topics (definitely not for young ones), they cut to the core of human nature with devastating elegance and should be read by as many people as possible. I highly recommend this book! Pet Pics: Lilo enjoying a lazy moment (and a cozy sweater) as her mom works. Finn keeping an eye out for his special outdoor cat friend. Garden Update: Our blood oranges are back in bloom, which means some yummy juice in the mornings. In the past, we’ve made marmalade with the fruit, but life is just too crazy at the moment, so maybe next year. Sanity Corner:
Circling back to the poem by Billy Collins, one of the things I love to do when I want to slow down is going on walks. When I’m in the office or working from home, I try to take a break and go outside to clear my head. Just a 10 minute walk works wonders. If you can, squeeze in one 10 minute walk into your daily routine: before work, during the work day, or after. If we can spend 10-30 minutes doom scrolling, we can manage a short walk. :) It’s well worth the effort. Welp...that’s all for this month. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again in February. :) Take care, Desi I recently listened to a podcast, called “How Awe Transforms Us,” which mentioned a term, “collective effervescence,” coined by a French sociologist named Émile Durkheim. To put it simply, it’s when people gather energy for a shared purpose. Intrigued, I honed in on the examples of collective effervescence:
Love that “connection fuel.” In a world that feels so disconnected and isolating—despite our technological connection…or maybe because of it—we need to find a sense of collective effervescence more than ever. Collective effervescence (CE) ranges from the mundane to the sacred. It can be spontaneous or planned. It fills our human need to feel part of something bigger than ourselves. Ironically, it also makes our world feel smaller (in a good way): like we’re part of a “village.” In the U.S., we put individuality on a pedestal, but too often we forget that we are part of a larger society. This connection is not something that our phones or social media scrolling can replicate. It requires our full presence and engagement. However, this isn’t the same as the superficial “we’re family” statements we might’ve heard at work and now largely understand to be problematic. Some of my favorite CE instances: cheering with other parents at my kids’ baseball games. Or dancing at hula competition, where we literally had to dance as one. Even if we didn’t win, the energy I got from sharing that experience with others fed me for days. Now that I ride the train a few days a week for work, I’ve had more of these moments. One day, our train to Union Station experienced delays, eventually arriving only FOUR MINUTES before the last Metrolink to my Orange County was scheduled to leave. There were several of us in that train car who needed to catch that train home, so we all made a plan to try to make it. As the train doors opened, I held my bags tight and sprinted across the station with the other riders. Complete strangers just minutes ago, us fellow commuters cheered each other on as we ran up the stairs and dodged other passengers. With about a minute to spare, we all made it onto the train. Our middle-aged muscles burned and we gasped for air. But dammit: we did it. With that said, in what ways have you experienced collective effervescence recently? Which experiences have stood out in your memory? Moreover, pursuing creative endeavors can be isolating, especially when you’re hitting a rut or experiencing rejections. So when you’re feeling “meh,” consider how you can curate collective effervescence and feel less alone. When you feed your spirit, you may find more energy to overcome creative challenges. I’ll leave you with this Herman Mellville quote, “We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.” Writing Update: Jon’s almost done with the most tedious, time-consuming part of making a graphic novel: the penciling stage. Life has been SO crazy with school, work, the kids’ activities and appointments, and other unexpected hiccups. Next, Jon will ink and color the pages. Fingers crossed that these next few months will be kind to us and allow him to catch up. If you didn’t get a chance to purchase a book, visit our site and get one asap. We’ll be closing the storefront site in one week: Monday, 11/6 at 9am, so don’t miss your chance! Recent Read: Fante Bukowski 2, by Noah Van Sciver I randomly found this graphic novel in our bookshelf and gobbled it up quickly. It’s a hilarious story about a struggling writer named Fante Bukowski, who dreams of being a successful writer, yearning for credibility and respect in the writing world. However, his hubris and comical lack of talent keeps getting in the way. I laughed out loud at certain scenes and how painfully relatable they were, like this one: If you are a writer, an artist, or do anything creative, pick up Fante Bukowski. It's a fun and enjoyable read! Pet Pics: Lilo and Finn are practically besties now. Amelie isn’t thrilled, so she’s keeping her distance. But worry not: we’re offering Amelie lots of emotional support as she adapts to this change. Sanity Corner: #1: Here’s another show we’ve been watching as a family: How to Get Rich. The title is a bit misleading (in my humble opinion) because it’s not about “getting rich,” per se—it’s about maximizing one’s financial well-being. This can involve starting your own business, getting out of debt, or saving enough to afford a new place to live. The host, Ramit Sethi, is a financial expert who helps various people overcome financial challenges and meet their personal financial goals. The show is super engaging and leans in on the stories behind each person. As Ramit helps each client, he also integrates important lessons and tips for us to be more informed. I think financial literacy should be taught in schools, and we’re seeing the impact of not educating generations of kids about handling finances. The fact that my kids ask to watch this means I can definitely give it a big thumbs up! #2: Our Dia De Los Muertos Altar We’ve added a few more family members to our altar this year. But honoring and remembering them has brought us some peace and comfort. ❤️❤️ Garden Updates: Our pomegranate haul from this month. We actually picked about three times the amount that you see in the picture, but we shared a lot of fruit with friends and family. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again next month with more updates.
If you know someone who’d like this newsletter, don’t hesitate to share this with them. :) Take care, Desi In the past years, each time I heard a staff meeting facilitator ask us to “remember our why,” my eyes would roll, and an “ugh” would gurgle up from my throat. My “why” giving me headaches. I’ve realized that it’s so easy to be cynical. In fact, that’s my default mode. I have to work hard and push myself to not be that way. While I think there is a valid reason for some cynicism, it can quickly spiral out of control. As a parent, it’s not the greatest mindset to model either. A “why” gives us purpose and motivation. It feeds our need to feel hope. Although there are parts of cynicism I like (such as my dark sense of humor), I need to keep that side of me in check. Constantly. With that said, here’s a poem that helped me feel more connected to my “why.” It’s not a “professional why” or a “creative why”--it’s more existential than that. Once I read it a few years ago, it stuck with me as a favorite. “Good Bones” by Maggie Smith. Life is short, though I keep this from my children. Life is short, and I’ve shortened mine in a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways, a thousand deliciously ill-advised ways I’ll keep from my children. The world is at least fifty percent terrible, and that’s a conservative estimate, though I keep this from my children. For every bird there is a stone thrown at a bird. For every loved child, a child broken, bagged, sunk in a lake. Life is short and the world is at least half terrible, and for every kind stranger, there is one who would break you, though I keep this from my children. I am trying to sell them the world. Any decent realtor, walking you through a real shithole, chirps on about good bones: This place could be beautiful, right? You could make this place beautiful. I have found myself asking, “What kind of world did I bring my kids into?” A world full of hate and fear and suffering and chaos. Yes, it feels bleak at times. Yes, I lay awake at night sometimes wondering how they will navigate through this. When I get overwhelmed, my mind goes back to that line: “This place could be beautiful, right? You could make this place beautiful.” Smith is right: despite the ugliness we see, there’s still hope. Why? Because we can always discover and nurture what’s beautiful. The “good bones” are harder to find these days, but they are still there. Despite the noise, there are many people quietly and tirelessly doing what they can to spread the good. It’s up to us to see the good. For your viewing pleasure, here is the video. Writing Update: We’ve completed our Crowdfunder and surpassed our 2nd and final stretch goal. Woohoo! You may have noticed that we re-opened the Crowdfundr website. We had to temporarily activate the storefront due to some issues a few supporters had with their transactions. Some transactions (processed with Stripe) labeled the contribution as “TikTok,” which caused confusion for several of our supporters and their banks. Luckily, we were able to get ahead of this and make sure to clarify what happened. If you didn’t get a chance to purchase a book, visit our site and get one asap! Now, Jon is working hard at illustrating the remaining pages. Then it’s time to color. Once that is complete and we check that everything looks good, we’ll send it off to printing! 🥳🥳 Recent Read: Stamped (for Kids), by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi and adapted by Sonja Cherry-Paul My youngest son read this book, and it captured his attention right away. So much so that he finished it in two days! It also prompted him to ask big questions, and we talked about what he learned about our country’s history and our current society. I appreciated how the book’s language is accessible and written for a younger audience so that they can wrap their heads around complex ideas. When he finished Stamped, he closed it and looked at me with sadness in his eyes, shook by the ugly elements of our history. But he had a newfound determination to share his insights with others--he even asked his teacher to make this book required reading for his class. My hope is that he will continue to stay curious and keep learning. Pet Pics: The band is back, y’all! In truth, this is a rare occurrence. But we’re glad they’re getting more comfortable with each other. Baby steps. Sanity Corner: We discovered this show, and it was so eye-opening. Even our kids were into it. The host visits various locations around the world to learn how people improve their longevity. But it’s not just about living longer. It’s about living better. The people he features, those who’ve reached their 90s and even surpassed 100 years of age have so much wisdom to share. It made me think about my habits and how we as a family can have better balance. If you’re looking for a wholesome and inspiring show, I highly recommend this one! Garden Updates: Hurricane Hilary--you probably already forgot about her lol--was thankfully pretty weak by the time it hit our area last month, but it still did some damage on our pomegranate tree. We had to tie it with rope to our patio in order to keep it from falling. But the fruit is coming in and still growing, which is good. Once we harvest the pomegranates, we’ll have to prune the tree and add some support. This month’s question: With so many products to choose from, I have to ask: which pumpkin spice products are actually worth the hype? Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again in October. If you have any friends who’d like this newsletter, feel free to share this with them. :) Take care,
Desi Getting to the final draft of any project--whether it is a book, a poem, a resume, or even a monthly newsletter (ha!)--can be a frustrating and maddening process. It’s no wonder why people avoid writing as much as possible. And it’s why resources like ChatGPT have exploded. People want proficiency from the get go. They expect their thoughts to flow like a stream coursing peacefully over smooth river stones, pushed along by the power of inspiration from the heavens. [This would be nice, BUUUUT it’s just not realistic.] Anything less than perfect is not worth struggling through. Right? I see this with my students as well--some almost feel paralyzed at the sight of a blank page. “I have to put pen to paper and do what?” they ask with a helpless look in their eyes, losing all trust in their abilities. Sure, we can opt to wait for inspiration. [Okay, inspiration….any day now] But what if it doesn’t come? It can be elusive and distant. And when it doesn’t hit us, that’s a scary moment, for sure. The blank page. The insidious cursor floating on the document, mocking you with each beat. Henri Matisse once said, “Don’t wait for inspiration. It comes while working." And he’s right. We just need to start, embracing the messiness, and take it from there. Every finish needs a starting point. One way I get them past this hurdle is to follow Matisse’s advice: just write whatever comes to mind about that subject. Some call it freewriting. I set a timer for three or five minutes, and we “sprint” on paper. Grammar, spelling, punctuation--none of that matters (gasp!...I know). We just want to unlock the ideas and get as many of them on paper as possible. We see the masterful works by the creatives we admire, and wonder how we can ever be as good as them. But the truth is, they also struggle with this process. All creatives do. We just see the final, polished draft, yet they, too, experience a messy process to get there. Unbeknownst to us mortals, they also have to sift through the “junk” of their initial ideas--the good and the bad--and find what’s worth keeping and developing. We can’t edit a blank page. We just need to let the trash flow, give it time to air out, and then go through rounds of revisions and edits. We have to dispose of what’s not working, and hone in on what is working: that’s how we’ll discover the gem within. So embrace the messiness of the first draft: the key to getting to that polished piece. Now, excuse me as I roll up my sleeves, get back to my garbage drafts, and crank out some long-overdue revisions to create something worth treasuring. Pet Pics: Every once in a while, my phone chooses violence and reminds me of a “memory”--in the form of an old photo--from long ago. Rather than share current pet pictures, this is a throwback to our sweet border collie, Ross. He was five when we adopted him, and he was a wonderful dog. This is us at the Bodie State Historic Park (a real life ghost town). At the time this picture was taken, I was expecting our first son, but Ross was our first fur baby, and a wonderful companion and running buddy. He lived 16.5 years, and we miss him so much. I’m thankful for the wonderful years we had together. Current Read: Black Cake by Charmaine Wilkerson One of my friends gave me Black Cake, and I honestly didn’t know what to expect. I hadn’t heard of this book before. It is a beautifully written story about betrayal and the secrets that tie us together. The novel spans multiple generations, starting with two estranged siblings coming together to learn about their deceased mother’s past. It switches POV, which threw me off at first. However, once you get into it, the various perspectives flow and play off each other seamlessly, revealing the rich depth of Wilkerson’s cast. Though I have been chipping away at it slowly due to my schedule, I find myself haunted by their relationships and conflicts, and I look forward to reading more as I progress through each chapter. Writing Update: The only writing I’ve been able to do is commenting on student essays (yikes, but also lol). With finals and so many other obligations, this past month was a DOOZY. I really hope to get back on the horse in the next few months and re-work a synopsis for a graphic memoir I started working on this past summer. Keep your fingers crossed for me! Garden Update: Our lime tree is popping off, so much so that we can’t keep up. So I’ve been giving away limes (and blood oranges) to neighbors who want them. I hate to see great fruit rotting on the ground; I’d prefer sharing the wealth than letting these fruits go to waste. That's it for January. Stay tuned for some updates next month! :)
Take care, Desi Game nights are underrated. And maybe….just maybe…they are the antidote to the distractions and disconnect we’ve been struggling with during these past few years. Plus, I love board games with family and friends. But it’s not for the reasons you may suspect. I couldn’t care less about which game we’re playing. In truth, it’s all about the experience we have as a group. We ditch the small talk and get into teams (or play for ourselves). It is a change in the predictable routines and long-established roles. We avoid safe topics and get real, really fast. Some of our favorite games lately have been Telestrations, Catan, and our newest one, Klask from Denmark (my husband and 12 year old son are tough to beat in this one). We also enjoy the classics: Uno, Poker, Spoons, and Scrabble. [me as soon as we sit around the table and open the game box] This holiday season, I had the chance to play multiple games with people, and I learned so much about them in such a short span of time. I learned who is extra competitive and well….extra. [It’s me, fam--I’m the problem] But I also learned who is pensive, who is quiet and sneaky, who is quick to make jokes, who likes to troll, who is earnest and honest. In the game, children and adults are equals. We lovingly roast each other, practice cooperation, and develop strategies. We laugh (a lot), we express our honest emotions, we encourage each other, and best of all, we don’t take ourselves too seriously. We create memories and inside jokes and leave us smiling long after the games are put away. [My face when things start getting real around the table] Can it get a bit chaotic and a little dicey? Sure. But it’s real. It disrupts the tendency to stay comfortable. Plus, I think more authenticity is good in our world. So next time you are at a gathering or just home with your family, take a break from your devices and play together. The box you open will also come with great times and golden memories to feed your spirit. Inspirational Quote: “Every day is a new life to a wise man.”-Dale Carnegie We all have bad days. We stumble, we get hurt, we make mistakes, we get rejected, and we fail. But it’s never the end. I love this quote because it reminds me that each new day brings new possibilities, and new paths to meet our potential, as long as we don’t give up. Pet Pics: [Lilo celebrated her 1st Birthday on Christmas Eve; Finn and Amelie investigating a worm --yikes!] Recent Read: Who Moved My Cheese? by Dr. Spencer Johnson This book is deceptively simple, using the allegory of mice looking for cheese to illustrate humanity’s aversion to change. It’s a quick read--I read it in one day. However, it applies to all aspects of our lives and resonated with me. It cautions against sticking with what is familiar due to fear of the unknown. We never have everything figured out. No matter how old we are, our “cheese” will be moved by forces outside of our control, and we must adapt. There is so much out there, so many possibilities for our lives. We just have to be willing to take risks to discover them. Even if we fail, we learn. So our efforts are never in vain. Writing Update: My husband (and creative partner) submitted our THREE BEE HONEY Graphic Novel project to Pitchfest, hosted by Kids Comics Unite. Some time had passed between our submission and the awards announcements (plus I’ve been super busy), so I kinda forgot about it. When I saw the runner-up winners, I was in awe of the talent behind all of the entries. To my shock, we won third place! It was definitely an exciting surprise. You can see our pitch here, if you're curious. We get so few wins as writers and creatives, so we have to celebrate them whenever we can. Garden Update: After years with no fruit or a few tiny offerings, our blood orange tree came through this year with TONS of fruits! I’ve been making fresh orange juice, and Jon made marmalade for our close family and friends. It is delicious. There’s nothing like fresh fruit from a tree! That's a wrap for 2022, but stay tuned for some updates in January. In the meantime, feel free to reach out and say “hello!” :)
Have a Happy New Year! Take care, Desi Well, friends. It landed on my front step. I thought I’d laid low long enough to avoid it. But it finally hit me this past month. The dreaded jury duty summons. I had just recovered from COVID (and missed nearly a week of work, which is tough for teachers). As much of a pain this was, I knew I’ve gotten lots of these jury duty summons before only to be quickly dismissed. So I expected the same outcome. I realize that I tempted the fates to mess with me that day. No doubt. When I reported to the courthouse, I brought papers to grade and a book to read--even a laptop to work on. Ha! Silly, naive me. Within 10 minutes of checking in, my name was called to move to jury room six. Confused, I packed all of my gear, and headed with the 40 or so others who were called. As I entered the small courtroom on the third floor, I remained confident that I’d be dismissed that same day. Then they assigned us all numbers and called on each of us to answer detailed questions about our lives. And I mean detailed. I learned a lot about strangers’ lives--fascinating stories about their families, jobs, brushes with the law, and health issues. As much as I had tons of work to catch up on, there was no way I was going to get any grading or reading done in that room. “Oh man…this is the best part of jury duty,” the big burly man sitting next to me said, giggling excitedly like this was an episode of a favorite show. The judge had enough that morning and called a lunch break, asking us to return promptly in one hour. It’s okay, I told myself as I ate my sandwich. I’ll probably get dismissed sometime this afternoon--no problem. Then we reported back to room six. Before I knew it, the bailiff said, “Juror #137.” Lugging my heavy teacher bag on my shoulder, I gingerly took my seat. I turned to the judge and attorneys, who were already scribbling notes on their notepads. The room grew quiet, and my face grew warm. I answered their questions, follow up questions, and more follow up questions. The judge asked, “Do you feel the legal system has treated you fairly in the past?” I paused. “Yes.” When he learned that I am an English teacher, he decided to have a little fun at my expense. “Who’s your favorite author?” he asked. “Toni Morrision,” I immediately replied. She always was an easy pick. He furrowed his heavy white brows. “I don’t know that name. Who else?” Crap. “David Sedaris . . . Maya Angelou . . .” He frowned. “Um... Robert Frost?” I tried. “It doesn’t ring a bell,” the judge said, shaking his head. Was he really going to make me list every author on the planet? Didn’t we have a trial to start? “Charles Dickens?” I offered in sheer desperation. He had to have known that name! “Is that because you think I’m old?” he said in mock offense. “Okay, now I can safely say the legal system hasn’t treated me fairly,” I cracked. The judge and everyone in the courtroom erupted in laughter. I grimaced, knowing that was when I clinched a spot on the jury. Sure enough, about an hour later, after they questioned more jurors, the bailiff announced: “Juror #137, please take the seat for juror number one.” My head was spinning. This couldn’t be! I was too busy. I already missed too much school! Desperate, my mind raced. Can’t someone else get picked? Is it too late to plead hardship? Can I raise my hand and speak up? No. No. And No. It was too late. They called the rest of the twelve jurors, asked us to raise our right hands, and swore us in. Boom. Done. My face was calm, but my my mind screaming like a petulant toddler: Then the trial commenced without even a five minute break. The attorneys dove headfirst into their opening arguments. The second day of this nearly three week (!!!) trial for a complicated medical malpractice case, us jurors had gotten to know each other just a little during our awkward small talk conversations when we waited to be called into the courtroom. Don’t worry--we obeyed the rules and never discussed the trial before deliberations. Juror #126 turned with a grin and asked, “You enjoying some time off?” “It’s nice to have a little break, right?” Juror #102 added. “Right.” I grumbled. They had no idea that my workload had DOUBLED. I was going into my classroom to prepare for the sub at 6am every morning. Then I’d go home after a long day to catch up on grading, emails, etc. I’d been going to bed much later just to keep up with sub plans and everything else on my plate. [Me each morning] But then, despite my resistance to this summons and desire to give up from sheer exhaustion, my overachiever and curious tendencies jumped into overdrive. Determined to learn and listen closely to each testimony, each cross-examination, each piece of evidence, I furiously wrote down every detail that I could. I cried after witnesses shared their hardships. I questioned contradictions. My finger joints screamed. My hand muscles burned. But I ignored the pain and remained resolute in my efforts to take this task seriously. I ended up writing 96 pages of notes. Front and back. That’s basically a novel, right? Once we finished deliberations--over two days of thoughtful and meticulous discussion, we finished deliberations and came to a verdict. I asked the bailiff if I could keep my notes. You know, as a souvenir? He shut that down faster than Ticketmaster shut down Taylor Swift concert ticket sales. So I completed my civic duty with care, thought, and attention. My only souvenir? My experience, the lessons I learned--and the loads of knowledge I gained about the spinal cord. Upon returning to work from being out for nearly three weeks, one of my students asked, “Would you do it again if asked?” I thought about it for a moment. “Yes,” I replied, surprising myself. “But only if the legal system allows a few years to pass before summoning me again.” Inspirational Quote: Alexander Pope once said, “A little learning is a dangerous thing; Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring: There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain, And drinking largely sobers us again.” Don’t we all know someone who read one article, served on one jury (ahem), or heard one podcast and was suddenly a self-proclaimed expert on the topic? Yeah, it’s pretty annoying. Don’t feel bad--I’ve been that person at times. Let’s do each other a favor and resolve to avoid shallow knowledge when it comes to a topic. Learn deeply, read lots of books. Talk to experts. Then you can sound off of Twitter (or TikTok, or whatever social media is around at this time) without being insufferable. Recent Read: Hey, Kiddo by Jared Krosoczka; How to Be a Person and What Can I Say? by Catherine Newman Since I've been exploring the graphic Memoir genre of books, I decided to reread Hey Kiddo, a graphic memoir about Jared Krosoczka’s experiences growing up while his mom struggled with substance abuse, forcing his grandparents to step in and raise him. It was a difficult situation since his mom was not the only absentee parent: his dad is not part of his life either. However, Jared did have caring grandparents who did their best to make sure he had a good upbringing while supporting his artistic endeavors. His story resonated with me because it didn’t shy away from the pain, but it also had heartwarming moments and lighthearted moments. It was real. It was authentic. It was complex. From the opening pages, you’ll get pulled into Jared’s story, rooting for him through his ups and downs. I highly recommend it! I also wanted to highlight a couple books I bought for my sons, which also have a graphic novel format. How to Be a Person and What Can I Say? both deal with growing up, how to navigate awkward social situations, and how to do the essential tasks to feel more independent. The illustrations are super engaging, and the text is easy for upper elementary (9 and up) and middle schoolers to digest. If you have any older kids, these would be great nonfiction titles for them! Pet Pics: Lilo had some puppy training recently, so now she’s a more polite and proper pup! While there is still more room for improvement, the cats are happy about her newfound self-control. Writing Update: I’ve been so busy that I’ve just had time to revise last month’s short story, “Pork on the Pali” and develop concepts for other stories I’m working on. But even when I’m not sitting at my desk and typing, I’m always thinking of the stories, letting ideas marinate and swirl around in my mind. That counts, right? Garden Update: Our persimmons have come in for the fall, although they are smaller this year (maybe due to the heat). We’re excited to make some persimmon cookies once they ripen. We just have to make sure the squirrels don’t get to them first. That's all for November. In the meantime, feel free to reach out and say “hello!” I’ll catch you again next month. :)
Take care, Desi When I was a kid, I always imagined the future would look a lot like the one portrayed in Back to the Future: clean technology in every town, hovering cars buzzing in the sky above, and lots of holograms. Welp. At least we got the holograms right. What I didn’t envision was a future with droughts, famine, mass extinctions, and rising sea levels. The petty political battles, which have crippled regulatory policies and allowed further desecration of our planet, have been beyond maddening. Mother Nature Be Like: To be honest, I was starting to lose hope, feeling despair about the future of our planet and of human life as we know it. I tried to push these anxieties out of my mind whenever those thoughts creep in, but at 2 in the morning, it's hard to distract yourself when the existential dread hits. What about the kids? I’d wonder. I was scared for what the future has in store for the next generations. It just feels so… unfair. Then lo and behold: Congress recently passed the Inflation Reduction Act. Among other investments, it contains measures to fight climate change, the most substantial measures ever in the history of our country. Now, it's not enough to offset all the damage. It's not perfect, but it's a damn good start and a long overdue one at that. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this bill will set off a chain of action in other nations and that we continue to build off of this momentum. Me discovering hope like the lost boys discovered Peter in Hook. I’m not a lobbyist or a political insider: I’m merely someone who has been desperate for progress. We are finally seeing it, and this movement gives me an optimism I haven't felt for a very long time. I’m hopeful that we can still have a healthy planet so that animals and plants can thrive. I’m hopeful that our kids and grandkids to have a good life with enough food and water. So yeah--even though 2022 doesn’t look much like my childhood fantasies, I’ll settle for this humble bit of progress that feeds my sense of hope for our planet: the only home we have. I’ll leave you with this important reminder by Chief Seattle: “The Earth does not belong to us; we belong to the Earth.” And if you’re still struggling with existential dread, here is a video that I found very helpful. While we absolutely cannot sit back, wait, or become complacent, we have to remember that we are not alone and many smart and talented people are jumping into the fight to save our planet. Wherever you are on the political spectrum, I encourage you to pay attention and push for policies that will keep our planet viable for future generations. Pet Pics: Lilo is recovering from getting spayed. Thankfully, she’s cone free now! Amelie and Finn napping together (as usual)--I love their tight bond. Current Read: This One Summer by Jillian Tamaki and Mariko Tamaki I read This One Summer a few years ago, but I wanted to re-read it in my effort to research graphic novels for older audiences. It follows the journey of Rose, a tween only child, living in the summer vacation home her family has visited since she was little. But the trip feels different this year. This time, Rose is caught in the storm of her parent’s constant fighting, and she is witness to the heartbreaking drama unfolding in the lives of other young locals. I loved the quiet beauty of the artwork and the minute details that capture the ups and downs of an unforgettable summer: like a close up of seashells or a bike leaning against a fence, for instance. My oldest son, a middle schooler who is reluctant to sit down and read, read this book in two sittings. I think that is a pretty solid endorsement! Writing Update: I’ve been working on a few different projects, including some freelancing side gigs. I’m also doing some research on the graphic memoir genre and working on some ideas for that. I’m still brainstorming revision ideas for In the Middle of the Sea. There is so much on my plate that it’s hard to devote a ton of time to one project, so I find myself slowly carving away at each one. Garden Update: It’s apple season time! Our Gala apples are coming in, and they are crisp and sweet. The kids enjoy slices of these apples with their meals. We just have to make sure to nab these before the squirrels get to them first. So I’m curious: what gives you hope these days? Do you have any podcasts, books, speeches, poems, songs, or other media that inspires you and keeps you motivated?
That's all for this month. Until next time! :) Take care, Desi I was recently talking with a colleague about charcuterie boards. We were discussing their appeal and why people make them. Aside from them basically being lunchables for grown ups, there seems to be a deeper, perhaps symbolic reason charcuterie boards have become so popular. “Food is a love language,” my colleague asserted. That idea stuck with me. But it’s not just making the food--it’s the way we present it. In other words, arranging it in an aesthetically pleasing way that tells your loved ones that you care. Before I go on, let’s review the concept of “Love Languages” with tacos: Simply put, Love Languages are ways that we express our love to others. These can be overlooked by someone looking for more traditional cues--such as verbal expressions of one’s affection or physical touch--so it’s helpful in any relationship to pay attention and recognize when someone is making the effort to be kind and loving in a meaningful way. That made me reflect on the ways I express my love to others. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a crappy gift-giver. I hate shopping, so I default to gift cards. Boring, I know. And I am not one to dish out a lot of compliments or words of affection, so I can seem cold at times. I’m trying to improve on my words of affection, but it’s a work in progress. But then I thought about my love of food and how I share that with others. I think about what will taste good together, what extra flavors and nutrients I can add to make the most of it, and how to make it look appealing. I can’t just slop the food on a plate. It has to look inviting. We’re visual creatures, after all. Eggs en Cocotte, a French dish that my kids love. Homemade Poke bowls: a special treat for everyone. So how do I display my love? It instinctively comes through service, hands down. I will gladly spend my time in the kitchen, creating something special that will make my loved ones feel nourished, adding my own small touches in what I make to show others that I care. Whenever my friends or family eat something I make--whether it’s a burrito, a charcuterie board, or a salad, they can rest assured that I put my heart into that meal. Inspirational Quote: “Always be a little kinder than necessary.”--James M. Barrie We never know what struggles people are going through. Despite our efforts to be “fine” and smile when we’re supposed to, people are grappling with some very difficult situations. Everyone is fighting their own battles. This isn’t the grief Olympics--we are not competing for who is suffering more than others--but it’s important to treat all people with compassion. Pet Pics: Amelie and Finn showing off their symmetry. Lilo enjoying her daily belly rubs in the sun (her happy place) . Current Read: Nimona by Noelle Stevenson Noelle Stevenson’s graphic novel, Nimona, was such a rad book. It’s a fantastical adventure story about a shapeshifter and a misunderstood villain teaming together to fight the truly evil forces in their world. I loved the humor, and Nimona is such a fun, lovable protagonist despite her flaws. It has a Stranger Things meets grown up Adventure Time vibe in a Medieval/Sci Fi setting. It’s super random, but it really works! Writing Update: Whenever I’m stuck on a given project, I’ve found it helpful to switch to another creative task or even another activity altogether. It also has been very challenging to find time to write at all as a parent. My kids definitely keep me busy, so I find myself working around their schedule and stealing time (even if it’s just 5 or 10 minutes) whenever I can. I thought I’d have more time for things as they got older, but I was very wrong (silly, naive me). However, I’ve gotten better at accepting the fact that this is a very chaotic time in my life. *shrugs* Sorry not sorry, universe. I’m doing the best that I can.
When the stars align and I have a good chunk of quiet time, I brainstorm other stories and write ideas down for them. It’s nothing super structured: I set a timer and list dialogue and thoughts and images as they come, which I will organize later. I just need to mine the raw material from my mind first in a writing “sprint.”. When I get stuck at the keyboard, it really helps to go for a walk or a run (a very slow one, haha). That seems to unclog my writers’ block. I highly recommend switching gears if you’re struggling with a writing task. Garden Update: The fig trees have come through with a ton of fruit! Yay! We all LOVE figs, so we’re excited to eat them. Also, the grapes are ripe now and very sweet. I’m glad we have some healthy fruit to snack on all day. That's all for now, but stay tuned for next month's updates. In the meantime, feel free to reach out and say “hello!” :)
Take care, Desi Hey, everyone! I know it’s been a few months since you’ve heard from me. Life got extremely stressful a few months ago, and I needed to step back a bit to focus on my health and my family. Glad to come back now that all is well with the world. Right?.....RIGHT? Speaking of chaos, I am now a parent of a pre-teen. I have worked with teens and adolescents for over 20 years (16 as a teacher, and 4+ years in parks and recreation). Before I go on, I want to make something clear: I love my children dearly. They are great kids with big hearts, and they work hard for their goals. They have made me proud on many occasions. *Ahem* But being a parent of a tween/teen? Nothing--and I mean NOTHING--could have prepared me for this rollercoaster. So a few months ago, my oldest son was in one of his moods because I had set limits on his screen time. I know….the audacity, mom! After trying to bait me into an argument, he stewed in his anger, sullen with his arms crossed in the passenger seat. I’d try to make casual conversation, but he stared ahead in cold silence. Ouch. [Me driving] I gripped the steering wheel and my thinning patience, willing myself to follow my therapists’ advice to take deep breaths and back off before I made things worse. I’m not a religious person, but I find myself praying for a sense of calm a LOT more these days. Anywho, a song came on: ”Walk” by Foo Fighters. The speakers played Dave Grohl’s words quietly as we sat at the long red light. I bobbed my head to the beat, but I didn’t dare say a word or turn up the dial to hear it better. It suddenly felt like a weird game of chicken. Who was going to break character and turn up the volume? Finally, my son went for it. He couldn’t resist this song. With quiet, unsure voices, we sang along with the lyrics. I hesitated to look at my son, but I could hear him. Gradually, our voices rose until we sang loudly over the music, letting our frustrations melt away from the car and unite in our affinity for great music. Then another beloved song played, and we belted those lyrics like the scene from Wayne’s World. I could feel our anger dissipate with every lyric. For these fleeting moments, there was no judgment. No button-pushing. Just sweet catharsis through a stranger’s poetry. Even though these years will be tough and require a ton of patience, I’m comforted to know that music can help us stay connected. Despite the angst and turmoil, we can still find a way to understand each other. Nowadays, when he gets in the car, after telling him how happy I am to see him, I always ask, “What song would you like to hear today?” Some of our Favorite Songs: Inspirational Quote: "Music is the literature of the heart; it commences where speech ends.”--Alphonse de Lamartine This quote echoes my story beautifully. I have special songs for many loved ones in my life (and some people from my past). Oftentimes, when I think of someone, their song will happen to play on the radio or on a store speaker if I’m running errands. This happens more times than I can count, and it’s definitely bittersweet. Music will always be my way of connecting with others and my memories with them. Pet Pics: Amelie and Finn napping together, and Lilo enjoying the grass on a sunny day. Current Read: Untamed by Glennon Doyle Glennon Doyle’s memoir, Untamed, came in just at the right time in my life. Doyle recounts her journey overcoming her own demons and abandoning society’s limiting expectations for her as a woman, mother, and wife. She advocates for all of us to recognize when we feel unsatisfied and stuck. When we feel unhappy, Doyle urges us to be courageous and follow our true instincts. It is a call to action to live our lives in the truest way possible, embracing the messiness and opening ourselves up to what the world has to offer. This book was hard to put down. It is eye-opening, inspiring, and deeply emotional. I give it 5/5 stars and strongly recommend it! Writing Update: I shared a recent draft of In The Middle of the Sea with my agent, and she had some extensive (but very helpful) editing notes. When I got those notes, however, life became extremely hectic. Frankly, my brain went on survival mode, and I did not have the time or energy to do much writing at all. However, now that summer has begun and I can breathe again, I am forcing myself to get back into the workflow each morning. One exercise that is helping me find my way back into the story is doing short freewriting “sprints” (by hand) in a notebook, getting into my MC’s head, and recounting her memories, fears, hopes, etc. I am not worrying about plot--I’m just trying to reach her on a deeper, emotional level. Garden Update: After Ross (our beloved border collie) passed away, we planted a fig tree in our backyard to honor his memory. He loved being outside, and we wanted to have a place to sit and think of him. The figs represent his sweet nature. We miss Ross dearly, but we’re happy to have a way to remember him. That's all for now, but stay tuned for next month's updates. In the meantime, feel free to reach out and say “hello!” :)
Take care, Desi |
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