We all have to come up with ideas sometimes. And if you’re like me, it’s all the time. But what do you do when you feel you’ve hit a creative wall? When you’ve juiced your brain of every possible idea you could squeeze out of it? Because I’m a copywriter by trade, I have to concept and write a lot for other brands. And after I’ve mustered the courage I need to face the dreaded blank page, I’m left with a hearty list of ideas. Then a sneaking fear hits me. Always quiet at first, but then it gets louder. I’m gonna need to do another round of this. Maybe more… What if I’m all out of ideas? What if this was the best I could do? I know that the first thoughts are usually beatable. But if I’m being honest, I fear that I won’t be able to generate more. That this is the best I can muster. That I’ll dig and dig for something, anything, and my mind will become infertile soil, producing nothing of substance. But that has not happened. What helps me in these moments? Taking a break, for sure. When I know I have to brainstorm more after pouring my all into the first session, I’ll stop writing. I put my pen down and then go outside. I listen to music. I do some small chores. Maybe read or talk to another person. I let my mind wander and ask “What if?” at the objects and activities around me. I become a focused observer. Because it turns out that all of those actions are like putting fertilizer back in the soil of your imagination. So when I sit down to crank out another round, something in my head unlocks, and the ideas flow once again. Are they all great? No. But they are something. And experience has taught me that something “meh” can lead to something “wow.” And who am I to shoo away any inspiration? Writing Updates: OMG omg, you guys…Jon has finished coloring! Me when Jon announced he found the golden ticket….I mean, finished the last page. He focused and was ruthless with his schedule this summer, aiming to color two pages each day. Here’s a video of him grinding for the past two months. If you supported our comic on Crowdfundr, stay tuned for more updates and outreach as we get this book finalized and ready to send to the printer! Current Read: Wired for Story, by Lisa Cron Lisa Cron does a fantastic job of breaking down how we can make our stories more engaging, using psychology and brain science. Not only does she address common mistakes writers make, but she also provides examples of good writing that underscore her insights. And she does it in a way that is super conversational, approachable, and clear. We can all appreciate that. If you're writing or thinking of writing a story, this is a great book to read before diving in. And if you’ve already written a draft (or two…or six…)—or even gotten several books published—this book is STILL helpful. Pet Pics: Lilo and Amelie having an important post-breakfast meeting, discussing meals, nap times, and treats. Finn finds the oddest places to nap. This time, he chose a partly-finished puzzle. When it comes to self care, I guess he doesn’t like seeing the bigger picture. Sanity Corner: Ever since my kids did distance learning, I’ve noticed a profound level of dependence on devices and an aversion to boredom. Everything they want to do (other than sports) is on a device, and it’s a reality I know many other parents these days struggle with. But there’s one activity they’ve rediscovered this summer: puzzles. During device-free periods—which we require even on these long summer days—they’ve started solving puzzles together, working on them little by little on the coffee table. Here’s their current puzzle. I honestly love this so much. The quiet focus it takes. The peaceful camaraderie required to finish. I 10/10 recommend you try one on your own or with your loved ones.
Fun fact: I worked as a preschool teaching assistant during college, working with 2.5-4 year olds. My supervisor was a strong supporter of puzzles to help kids learn and develop so many important skills (focus, perseverance, problem-solving, etc.). I never did a formal study on the impact of puzzles, but I can attest to their positive effect on the little ones. That’s all for June. Thank you so much for reading. I’ll be in touch again soon. Feel free to share this little newsletter with a friend and/or a favorite frenemy! :) Take care, Desi
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Sometimes we have our deepest insights during our most mundane moments. Walking down a quiet hallway at the office. Tying your shoes before going on a run. Sitting on a folding chair on a breezy afternoon, waiting for your kid to go up to bat during their baseball game. This realization actually struck me years ago when facilitating a workshop on college essays. Some of my students were worried that they didn’t have a big “sob story” to share on their college application essays. I didn’t get into the fact that I don’t think kids should be asked to exploit their trauma for a chance to get into college (that’s a discussion for another day). Instead, I encouraged them to think of their everyday lives and the little moments that make up their typical day. Within those unique slices of life, they can dive in and share a deeper, more unique story about themselves. Their job was to find the extraordinary in the ordinary. If we press the pause button during those moments, we can discover the quiet yet clear nuggets of wisdom life has to offer. Right there in front of us. [Me annoying my friends and zooming in on everything.] I’ll share a moment I had recently with my teenage son. We were in the car together, running a last minute errand to the store to pick up something he needed for school. His request came at the 11th hour, so I was irritated. All I wanted to do was go home and relax. Naturally, he was also annoyed with me sternly asking for more notice next time. There we were in the car, riding along in this tense silence. Then he turned up the car radio. The opening guitar chords immediately gave it away: “Linger” by The Cranberries. I let a faint smirk form on my lips and kept driving. Dolores O'Riordan started singing the lyrics, and my son sang along. Then I joined him. Before we knew it, we were both belting out the chorus: But I'm in so deep You know I'm such a fool for you You got me wrapped around your finger Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it linger? [Pretty much how we looked in the car, sans the backup singers.] And there we were, laughing and singing like a couple of goofballs. This song has such sad lyrics, but the context we brought to it made it surprisingly joyful. Prior annoyance was all washed away. This was only three minutes of my life, but in my mind’s eye, I took a “screenshot,” wishing with all of my heart that I could slow things down and bottle up that sweet little instant. Keep it as a salve for later when we wound each other with criticism and impatience. But this was a passing moment, one that will have to settle in as a memory of us. However, this made me realize that my son and I might be in different life stages, but we aren’t so different. And no matter how much we may butt heads, music will always be a way we can stay connected. And now, when I hear that song, I know we’re going to be okay. Writing Updates: Jon has finished inking! Now, he’s moving on to coloring, which seems to be going a lot faster (knock on wood that I don’t eat my words). Here he is, coloring a page between innings at our son’s baseball game. We’re pushing through to the end, but it’s so cool to see THREE BEE HONEY coming to life with color. Here’s a video of his coloring process. Current Read: And Now I Spill The Family Secrets, by Margaret Kimball I’ve been interested in reading memoirs, especially graphic memoirs, and a friend recommended And Now I Spill The Family Secrets, by Margaret Kimball. Aside from the beautiful cover, Kimball’s illustrations immediately grabbed my attention. Her memoir explores tough subjects: mental health, broken families, parent estrangement, etc. But I admire Kimball’s courage in telling her story fully and unapologetically. One of my favorite things about this book is how Kimball gets pretty granular about the details. The pattern of the rug. The smells in the room. The trinkets on the bookshelf. Those little tidbits of information come together to paint a vivid scene, where you can feel as if you’re walking alongside her as she peels back the layers of her story. Here’s an example from her book: Pet Pics: Lilo contemplating her next hit song. Finn trying out my son’s new guitar bag. Garden Updates: The first batch of spring/summer tomatoes have arrived! I just planted some mint as well (which can add a nice flavor to a light summer salad). I’m excited to add these to a Greek salad I’m making this week. Here’s a favorite recipe if you’d like to try it. Sanity Corner: As a person who is constantly busy, I’m a big fan of podcasts because I can listen while doing chores, yardwork, or exercising. I especially love ones that have short and sweet episodes, like It’s Going to Be Okay by Nora McInerny. Each episode features a different person sharing their “okay” moment on a voice memo. A moment that reminds them that the world isn’t all that bad, which offsets the pervasive “doom and gloom” that surrounds us. It’s a practice of finding something special in the mundane, and I find myself looking forward to every episode.
Be sure to check it out! That’s all for this month. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again in June. Feel free to share this little newsletter with a friend and/or a favorite frenemy! :) Take care, Desi Poetry isn’t given the attention it deserves. But it sneaks into the cracks of our everyday lives via inspirational quotes, lyrics from our favorite songs, and stickers on water bottles. Poetry’s everywhere, so long as we’re paying attention. What I love most about poems is that reading them is like looking into a mirror. They each reflect essential human truths in some pretty surprising ways. So in honor of national poetry month, I’d like to put a spotlight on one of my favorite, albeit quieter 18th century poems: “To a Mouse.” Take a moment to read it, if you haven’t seen it before. It was composed in the Scottish dialect, but for this post, I’ll refer to the standard English translation. Written by the Scottish bard, Robert Burns, “To a Mouse” tells the story of a farmer plowing his field and accidentally destroying a mouse’s nest in the process. It seems simple and straight-foward enough…at first. The speaker opens by addressing the mouse, feeling pity for him in the beginning. Small, sleek, cowering, timorous beast, O, what a panic is in your breast! You need not start away so hasty With hurrying scamper! Then the farmer reveals some self-awareness in this prophetic and poignant line: I'm truly sorry man's dominion Has broken Nature's social union, When I got to this point, I realized it was deeper than some dude talking to a helpless mouse. As the poem progresses, the farmer’s tone grows more despairing as he realizes that the mouse isn’t actually an inferior little “beastie.” Readers, this ain’t the vibe of Burns’ poem. I want to focus on these lines toward the end: But little Mouse, you are not alone, In proving foresight may be vain: The best laid schemes of mice and men Go often askew, And leave us nothing but grief and pain, For promised joy! Still you are blessed, compared with me! The present only touches you: But oh! I backward cast my eye, On prospects dreary! And forward, though I cannot see, I guess and fear! Boom, there it is. The “mirror” moment of the poem. A golden nugget that reveals the essence of the human condition. “Being a human” summed up in a meme. We constantly dwell on the past and worry about the future. However, living in the present isn’t easy for us humans. But boy, do we try our darndest to make it our normal like the mouse does. There are entire industries built around this goal. If we’re lucky, maybe we can live purely in the present for a few moments, but the worries and anxieties, fueled by our egos, always seem to percolate back to the surface of our consciousness. And in case we do get on our high horse and somehow forget about our flaws, we have poets to humble us. To remind us each and every day how beautifully complex we are. So yeah, grieve the loss of promised joys, the plans that went painfully askew, and remember that the whole point of this is to remember we are not the first ones to experience these ups and downs, and we definitely won’t be the last. So take heart in knowing we’re not going through this alone. Writing Updates: Jon and I created a little spring THREE BEE HONEY comic for our friend, Sarah Giles. We wanted to capture the bee’s POV when the weather gets warmer. For us, it’s time to enjoy some sunshine, but for bees, it’s time to get to work. Current Read: Scattered, by Dr. Gabor Mate When both of my kids were diagnosed with ADHD, I immediately felt overwhelmed and frantically grasped at every piece of information I could get my hands on. Podcasts, books, classes—you name it. Some resources proved to be more helpful than others. But Scattered is one of the more helpful books I’ve read about this topic. And Gabor Mate is SUCH a great writer. His lucid and engaging voice made it easy to digest so much rich information. Parenting has always been hard. But parenting in this day and age—when we’re overwhelmed and juggling so many responsibilities—is even harder. Since we’re not raising our kids in a “village” like our ancestors, I consider these authors to be part of my village, guiding me and giving me hard-earned wisdom as Jon and I navigate this path. I’m still learning and growing as a mom. While my kids have faced and will confront additional challenges due to being neurodivergent, I can better equip myself to understand, support, and guide them. At the end of the day, that’s what matters most. If you know a child or adult with ADHD, I highly recommend this book! Pet Pics: Lilo enjoying some baseball and watching her big brother as he crosses home plate. Garden Updates: Our fig trees are back in bloom! Looking forward to putting some slices of this sweet fruit on my salads and toast. Sanity Corner: We recently purchased a new record player since our old one stopped working a while ago. And man….what a difference a great player makes! The sound is so much richer, and you catch nuances in the bass and drums layers that are easy to miss on other devices. Also, since I wasn’t able to see No Doubt perform at Coachella, we jammed to some Tragic Kingdom from home. It made my inner 90s teenager so, so happy. I’m still keeping my fingers crossed for a reunion tour.
That’s all for now. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again soon. Feel free to share this little newsletter with a friend! :) Take care, Desi They say “breaking up is hard to do.” And if we’re talking about relationships, yes. It is hard. But when it comes to doing work—especially creative work—breaking things up doesn't just make things easier to do. It’s essential. Let me explain. About two years ago, when I sent a new full manuscript to our agent, I thought the story was finished. Dear reader, it wasn’t done. Far from it. I was the one who was done, apparently. So when she responded with several pages of editorial notes, I literally blacked out. I wasn’t mad. The notes were spot on. I was just completely drained of energy from everything—and I mean everything—life had thrown at me, which is another story for another post. At that point, I decided that I needed to focus on just surviving each week. Then I put the manuscript away and couldn’t look at it for nearly two years. Throughout that time, it kept gnawing at me. This was a story I wanted to tell. It was a more emotional one, a more difficult one. But I just couldn’t muster the energy to work through it. Finally, my brain said, “OKAY, fine! I’ll do this thing.” But it still felt like too much. Too big and overwhelming for my perpetually overloaded mind to tackle. So I decided to trick it. I told myself that I just need to do one page at a time. Just one. And if I do more, great! So I made it a point to wrestle with one page a day. After that was done, I’d add a sticker to the chart. My goal was to do some hardcore revision on 100 pages, since those were the hardest, which is why the chart has 100 boxes. Okay, sure. It’s an elementary school vibe. But I’m telling you: it works! Doing this for several days actually lifted me from my creativity block and helped me build some much needed momentum. And actually seeing my progress has been very motivating. So if you’re facing a big project and you feel paralyzed by the sheer size and scope of it, trick your mind. Break it up. You don’t need stickers. But you DO want to try to do one single, quantifiable piece at a time. Because baby steps are still steps. After a few days of this, my hope is that you’ll look back and feel good about your progress. And that’s how life works, isn’t it? It’s not about having these gigantic, Earth-shattering accomplishments each and every day. It’s the habitual small actions we take that eventually add up to meaningful results. Writing Updates: Aside from me re-working a new manuscript, Jon’s nearly done inking the pages for the THREE BEE HONEY Crowdfundr campaign. This endeavor has been much slower than we’d like, but we’re making progress each day. Jon’s even been inking pages during our sons’ baseball games, as you can see here. Current Read: Hello, Universe, by Erin Entrada Kelly I just started reading this book, which explores friendships that surprise us and the self-acceptance that grounds us. Right away, I was pulled into Hello, Universe as it opens with Virgil, a shy boy who’s guarding a big secret. Often misunderstood by his family, Virgil struggles with the angst of growing up and not fitting in. Each chapter switches point-of-view between the four middle school characters, which kept me turning the pages. Furthermore, I love how even the supporting characters are developed with so much depth and personality: like Virgil’s opinionated grandma, Lola, who’s from the Philippines. Kelly expertly plots each scene, twisting it in ways that force Virgil into an adventure with these unlikely friends. While I haven’t finished the book yet, I already can see how rich the characters are in the world Kelly built. This is definitely a story I would’ve found solace in during my middle school years. Pet Pics: Lilo is just like me: if it’s under 70 degrees outside, we’re freezing and MUST wear a hoodie all day. Amelie and Finn try their best to fit on top of their tower and watch the rainfall. Sanity Corner: I’m an absolute sucker for inspirational quotes. So much so that I keep a growing list of them on my phone. Later, when I want to share one with a friend or a stranger, boom! I’ve got the perfect, mic-dropping line. Well, maybe it’s not mic-dropping. But it’s at least thought-provoking. And that’s good enough for me. I also have this calendar with quotes for each day of the year. It’s a very small but fun way to set the tone for the day. The insufferable teacher in me sometimes asks one of my kids to read it aloud and share what they think it means. I can’t help but turn everything into a teachable moment. #sorrynotsorry That’s all for today. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again next month.
Feel free to share this little newsletter with anyone who’d enjoy it! :) Take care, Desi I hate clutter. I hate how stressful and overwhelming it feels to be around a lot of stuff—especially when dealing with a small amount of space. In fact, my ideal home would look like an Ikea catalog if I had any control over my living situation (I don’t…I have kids and pets lol). My home would be a soft, comfortable, and functional space, but definitely minimal. And simple. However, unlike our physical realm, our minds have infinite space for whatever we want to pack it with. And because ideas need inspiration and our ideas come from our beautiful brains, it’s helpful to deposit lots of details instead of keeping it clutter free. So it’s time to fill ‘er up. Pack it with all kinds of information. Observations. Trivia. Questions. Everything. But all that inspiration hoarding shouldn’t come from one place (I’m looking at you, TikTok). Don’t rely on social media for all of your “research.” Get outside and look around. Notice what you notice. What people are doing. What they’re wearing. What they’re NOT doing. How people are eating. Which places attract people and why. Which places need upkeep. And if you’re stuck on a personal or work project or feeling “blah” about something that feels stale or you're just out of dank meme material, change your routine. Then download every detail you can about your day. I’ve started using this strategy myself, and it has improved my ability to brainstorm ideas more quickly. Now when I stare at my screen, I can make the cursor move on command with a list of some starter ideas. And some of those have the potential to actually be good ones. Picasso once said that “Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.” So work at it by shaking things up and noticing the world around you. Then commit what you observe to your memory. You never know when it might come in handy when you need some fresh inspiration down the line. Current Read: How to Get Ideas, by Jack Foster My earlier manifesto was inspired by this book. Jack Foster does a great job of inspiring and teaching us how to turn on that radar in our minds to find ideas. They are all around us, if we pay attention. How to Get Ideas is a super easy read and great for anyone who wants to find inspiration, whether it is for work or personal projects. One specific exercise he suggests is to spend time really, truly observing our surroundings and then write down specific observations we have each day, which can be completely random. But the act of noticing helps us exercise that inner muscle and see more going forward. Here are some things I noted on day one during my work commute on the train: -Most people’s heads were down, looking at their phones. -A teenage boy had his basketball shoes untied and seemed unbothered by it. I also noted how the untied laces touching the train floor gave me the ick. -A man standing on the train was reading an art history book with black and white images. -I’ve been reading a new poem each day, and this one poem was about loss and how we hide our grief in the shadows of our smiles. #deep Pet Pics: Lilo being a brave little pup as she gets her annual shots. Don’t worry, she got extra cuddles. Amelie soaks up a little sunshine (and superiority) from her window perch. Garden Update: Our lemon and grapefruit trees have no chill and produced a lot of fruit this month. At first, I wasn’t thrilled about grapefruit—I didn’t eat it growing up. But now in my ripening years, I’ve developed a taste and enjoy them without any added sweetener. No judgment here if you like a little sugar on yours, lol. Sanity Corner: Jon got me into this podcast called Ologies, with Allie Ward, where she interviews experts on everything from black holes to apples to near death experiences. Every episode is fascinating and super engaging (Allie is such a funny host!). I’m always looking forward to learning from Allie and her team.
She also has “Smologies,” which are shorter, kid-friendly episodes for younger audiences. Please check it out, and challenge yourself to listen to something you know nothing about. As you listen, the episode will suck you right into that wonderful rabbit hole of curiosities. That’s all for today. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again soon. Feel free to share this little newsletter with your friends! :) Take care, Desi I hope you all had a restful holiday with your loved ones! I finally have a second to breathe after the craziness of the holidays, and I wanted to get in touch before the ball drops in 2024. Plus let’s face it: my productivity took a precipitous drop this week. As we disembark from the absolute rollercoaster that was 2023, I thought I’d reflect on the ups and downs of the past 12 months. Challenges:
Highlights:
I won’t kid myself by anticipating 2024 will be a smooth ride by any stretch of the imagination. After all, I’m an elder millennial who’s lived through decades of “unprecedented events.” But I know we have the tools to survive what comes our way, which reminds me of an old proverb: “A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.” Writing Update: Jon is still inking the TBH pages. Juggling parenting and teaching middle school and life is hard, fam. However, he’s getting the pages done--slowly but surely. Jon at the end of the work day—and at the end of 2023. Recent Read: The Creative Act, by Rick Rubin A fellow copywriter at work recommended this book a few months ago. Around the same time, Jon bought it and loved it. Once he finished, he passed The Creative Act to me to read for inspiration through some serious writer’s block I was having. This book is 100% deserving of all the hype. I’ve felt grounded by Rick Rubin’s immense wisdom. And I mean so. Much. Wisdom. Another thing I’ve grown to appreciate in non-fiction books like this one: I love the short chapters. We are always hustling and rushing from one thing to the next, but if I have 10 minutes or so, I can read a chapter, fully digest it, and feel like I learned something instead of stopping halfway and letting the main idea dissipate into thin air. Pet Pics: Lilo turned 2 on Christmas Eve! Here she is with her little holiday headband. Here are Finn and Amelie working hard at competitive napping. Sanity Corner: I know I’m late to the game, but I finally started using “Do Not Disturb” mode on my phone. And holy moly—what a difference it has made!
Text messages can be a huge distraction when you’re trying to establish a workflow or focus on other tasks--even if that TikTok video your friend sent IS hilarious. It’s been so effective at blocking notifications, that I’ve set my phone to DND every day, even on weekends. If you haven’t tried “Do Not Disturb,” I strongly recommend it if you want to reduce distractions. That’s it for now. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again in 2024. Have a Happy New Year, everyone! :) Take care, Desi |
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