They say “breaking up is hard to do.” And if we’re talking about relationships, yes. It is hard. But when it comes to doing work—especially creative work—breaking things up doesn't just make things easier to do. It’s essential. Let me explain. About two years ago, when I sent a new full manuscript to our agent, I thought the story was finished. Dear reader, it wasn’t done. Far from it. I was the one who was done, apparently. So when she responded with several pages of editorial notes, I literally blacked out. I wasn’t mad. The notes were spot on. I was just completely drained of energy from everything—and I mean everything—life had thrown at me, which is another story for another post. At that point, I decided that I needed to focus on just surviving each week. Then I put the manuscript away and couldn’t look at it for nearly two years. Throughout that time, it kept gnawing at me. This was a story I wanted to tell. It was a more emotional one, a more difficult one. But I just couldn’t muster the energy to work through it. Finally, my brain said, “OKAY, fine! I’ll do this thing.” But it still felt like too much. Too big and overwhelming for my perpetually overloaded mind to tackle. So I decided to trick it. I told myself that I just need to do one page at a time. Just one. And if I do more, great! So I made it a point to wrestle with one page a day. After that was done, I’d add a sticker to the chart. My goal was to do some hardcore revision on 100 pages, since those were the hardest, which is why the chart has 100 boxes. Okay, sure. It’s an elementary school vibe. But I’m telling you: it works! Doing this for several days actually lifted me from my creativity block and helped me build some much needed momentum. And actually seeing my progress has been very motivating. So if you’re facing a big project and you feel paralyzed by the sheer size and scope of it, trick your mind. Break it up. You don’t need stickers. But you DO want to try to do one single, quantifiable piece at a time. Because baby steps are still steps. After a few days of this, my hope is that you’ll look back and feel good about your progress. And that’s how life works, isn’t it? It’s not about having these gigantic, Earth-shattering accomplishments each and every day. It’s the habitual small actions we take that eventually add up to meaningful results. Writing Updates: Aside from me re-working a new manuscript, Jon’s nearly done inking the pages for the THREE BEE HONEY Crowdfundr campaign. This endeavor has been much slower than we’d like, but we’re making progress each day. Jon’s even been inking pages during our sons’ baseball games, as you can see here. Current Read: Hello, Universe, by Erin Entrada Kelly I just started reading this book, which explores friendships that surprise us and the self-acceptance that grounds us. Right away, I was pulled into Hello, Universe as it opens with Virgil, a shy boy who’s guarding a big secret. Often misunderstood by his family, Virgil struggles with the angst of growing up and not fitting in. Each chapter switches point-of-view between the four middle school characters, which kept me turning the pages. Furthermore, I love how even the supporting characters are developed with so much depth and personality: like Virgil’s opinionated grandma, Lola, who’s from the Philippines. Kelly expertly plots each scene, twisting it in ways that force Virgil into an adventure with these unlikely friends. While I haven’t finished the book yet, I already can see how rich the characters are in the world Kelly built. This is definitely a story I would’ve found solace in during my middle school years. Pet Pics: Lilo is just like me: if it’s under 70 degrees outside, we’re freezing and MUST wear a hoodie all day. Amelie and Finn try their best to fit on top of their tower and watch the rainfall. Sanity Corner: I’m an absolute sucker for inspirational quotes. So much so that I keep a growing list of them on my phone. Later, when I want to share one with a friend or a stranger, boom! I’ve got the perfect, mic-dropping line. Well, maybe it’s not mic-dropping. But it’s at least thought-provoking. And that’s good enough for me. I also have this calendar with quotes for each day of the year. It’s a very small but fun way to set the tone for the day. The insufferable teacher in me sometimes asks one of my kids to read it aloud and share what they think it means. I can’t help but turn everything into a teachable moment. #sorrynotsorry That’s all for today. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again next month.
Feel free to share this little newsletter with anyone who’d enjoy it! :) Take care, Desi
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I hate clutter. I hate how stressful and overwhelming it feels to be around a lot of stuff—especially when dealing with a small amount of space. In fact, my ideal home would look like an Ikea catalog if I had any control over my living situation (I don’t…I have kids and pets lol). My home would be a soft, comfortable, and functional space, but definitely minimal. And simple. However, unlike our physical realm, our minds have infinite space for whatever we want to pack it with. And because ideas need inspiration and our ideas come from our beautiful brains, it’s helpful to deposit lots of details instead of keeping it clutter free. So it’s time to fill ‘er up. Pack it with all kinds of information. Observations. Trivia. Questions. Everything. But all that inspiration hoarding shouldn’t come from one place (I’m looking at you, TikTok). Don’t rely on social media for all of your “research.” Get outside and look around. Notice what you notice. What people are doing. What they’re wearing. What they’re NOT doing. How people are eating. Which places attract people and why. Which places need upkeep. And if you’re stuck on a personal or work project or feeling “blah” about something that feels stale or you're just out of dank meme material, change your routine. Then download every detail you can about your day. I’ve started using this strategy myself, and it has improved my ability to brainstorm ideas more quickly. Now when I stare at my screen, I can make the cursor move on command with a list of some starter ideas. And some of those have the potential to actually be good ones. Picasso once said that “Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.” So work at it by shaking things up and noticing the world around you. Then commit what you observe to your memory. You never know when it might come in handy when you need some fresh inspiration down the line. Current Read: How to Get Ideas, by Jack Foster My earlier manifesto was inspired by this book. Jack Foster does a great job of inspiring and teaching us how to turn on that radar in our minds to find ideas. They are all around us, if we pay attention. How to Get Ideas is a super easy read and great for anyone who wants to find inspiration, whether it is for work or personal projects. One specific exercise he suggests is to spend time really, truly observing our surroundings and then write down specific observations we have each day, which can be completely random. But the act of noticing helps us exercise that inner muscle and see more going forward. Here are some things I noted on day one during my work commute on the train: -Most people’s heads were down, looking at their phones. -A teenage boy had his basketball shoes untied and seemed unbothered by it. I also noted how the untied laces touching the train floor gave me the ick. -A man standing on the train was reading an art history book with black and white images. -I’ve been reading a new poem each day, and this one poem was about loss and how we hide our grief in the shadows of our smiles. #deep Pet Pics: Lilo being a brave little pup as she gets her annual shots. Don’t worry, she got extra cuddles. Amelie soaks up a little sunshine (and superiority) from her window perch. Garden Update: Our lemon and grapefruit trees have no chill and produced a lot of fruit this month. At first, I wasn’t thrilled about grapefruit—I didn’t eat it growing up. But now in my ripening years, I’ve developed a taste and enjoy them without any added sweetener. No judgment here if you like a little sugar on yours, lol. Sanity Corner: Jon got me into this podcast called Ologies, with Allie Ward, where she interviews experts on everything from black holes to apples to near death experiences. Every episode is fascinating and super engaging (Allie is such a funny host!). I’m always looking forward to learning from Allie and her team.
She also has “Smologies,” which are shorter, kid-friendly episodes for younger audiences. Please check it out, and challenge yourself to listen to something you know nothing about. As you listen, the episode will suck you right into that wonderful rabbit hole of curiosities. That’s all for today. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again soon. Feel free to share this little newsletter with your friends! :) Take care, Desi I hope you all had a restful holiday with your loved ones! I finally have a second to breathe after the craziness of the holidays, and I wanted to get in touch before the ball drops in 2024. Plus let’s face it: my productivity took a precipitous drop this week. As we disembark from the absolute rollercoaster that was 2023, I thought I’d reflect on the ups and downs of the past 12 months. Challenges:
Highlights:
I won’t kid myself by anticipating 2024 will be a smooth ride by any stretch of the imagination. After all, I’m an elder millennial who’s lived through decades of “unprecedented events.” But I know we have the tools to survive what comes our way, which reminds me of an old proverb: “A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.” Writing Update: Jon is still inking the TBH pages. Juggling parenting and teaching middle school and life is hard, fam. However, he’s getting the pages done--slowly but surely. Jon at the end of the work day—and at the end of 2023. Recent Read: The Creative Act, by Rick Rubin A fellow copywriter at work recommended this book a few months ago. Around the same time, Jon bought it and loved it. Once he finished, he passed The Creative Act to me to read for inspiration through some serious writer’s block I was having. This book is 100% deserving of all the hype. I’ve felt grounded by Rick Rubin’s immense wisdom. And I mean so. Much. Wisdom. Another thing I’ve grown to appreciate in non-fiction books like this one: I love the short chapters. We are always hustling and rushing from one thing to the next, but if I have 10 minutes or so, I can read a chapter, fully digest it, and feel like I learned something instead of stopping halfway and letting the main idea dissipate into thin air. Pet Pics: Lilo turned 2 on Christmas Eve! Here she is with her little holiday headband. Here are Finn and Amelie working hard at competitive napping. Sanity Corner: I know I’m late to the game, but I finally started using “Do Not Disturb” mode on my phone. And holy moly—what a difference it has made!
Text messages can be a huge distraction when you’re trying to establish a workflow or focus on other tasks--even if that TikTok video your friend sent IS hilarious. It’s been so effective at blocking notifications, that I’ve set my phone to DND every day, even on weekends. If you haven’t tried “Do Not Disturb,” I strongly recommend it if you want to reduce distractions. That’s it for now. Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be in touch again in 2024. Have a Happy New Year, everyone! :) Take care, Desi |
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